Saturday, October 1, 2011

My Connections to Play

"My Connections to Play"
“It is in playing, and only in playing, that the individual child or adult is able to be creative and to use the whole personality, and it is only in being creative that the individual discovers the self.” ~ D.W. Winnicott (British pediatrician)
“A child loves his play, not because it’s easy, but because it’s hard.” ~ Benjamin Spock (pediatrician, author)
“It’s not so much what children learn through play, but what they won’t learn if we don’t give them the chance to play. Many functional skills like literacy and  arithmetic can be learned either through play or through instruction – the issue is the amount of stress on the child. However, many coping skills like compassion, self-regulation, self-confidence, the habit of active engagement, and the motivation to learn and be literate cannot be instructed. They can only be learned through self-directed experience (i.e. play). ~ Susan J. Oliver (author, Playing for Keeps)

Growing up as a child, I had many people in my life who supported us to play. My Aunt Angel who lived in Los Angeles, would come to San Jose to pick us up for the summer. When we were at her house she always taught us new games everytime we came. I remember one year she taught us how to double dutch. We even made our own ropes. We went to the store and bought rope and we braided them together. We would play jump rope all day long. She would teach us songs that went along with it.

I remember my neighbor invited all the children in our apartments to play softball. I remember being 5 and not being able to hit a ball let alone catch one. She would bring us home and she would take me aside and practice with me. She would tell me not to worry about hitting or catching the ball. She told me she wanted me to have fun. I started to relax and not focus so much on hitting and catching. I’m so glad she said that me me, those words pushed me to become one of the best softball players in my league.

I think play is completely different from when I was a child. Now kids believe playing video games, texting and playing games on their phones.  I remember my mom would tell me if I come in the house I was the house for the rest of the day. I didn’t want to stay indoors, that was the worst thing ever.  Today children don’t want to go outside, they want to stay indoors and watch TV and talk on their cell phone.  I work with 2nd graders at my church and I love them dearly. They think I’m crazy with some of the games I have them play. I would play games that have them running, jumping and acting silly. At first they didn’t want to do it and now they can’t wait to see what game they will be playing next week  My hope for young children with regards to play is to have fun, exercise and to just be a kid with no worries.

I remember adults teaching me to play hop scotch, double dutch, tag, jacks and dodge ball. Most of the games I played required me to be active. Growing up I always played something. I always wanted to learn new games and continue to play the games I already knew.  I became very active and was involved in sports throughout my childhood and adulthood. I taught my children many games and they still play these games now. I would listen to my children playing with my great-nephew in the bedroom. They were singing the counting song I taught them when they were toddlers. I was surprised they still knew those songs. It amazes me that we teach our children how to play. If we allow them to play video games and watch TV as toddlers, we can’t get mad if they are not active and don’t want to play when they are older. My suggestion is to get ALL children outside and



PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!!


“RELATIONSHIP REFLECTION”


“RELATIONSHIP REFLECTION”

Relationships are important to me because it’s a true bond with someone I trust to be myself.  Knowing that I have someone who will tell me the truth no matter what is priceless. A relationship is someone I willingly choose to have in my life. I value my trusting, loving relationship I have with my friends and family.

MY DAUGHTER RAYVEN
MY DAUGHTER  JASMYNE

One of the positive relationships I have in my life would be Lee-Ann at my church. She is such a wonderful friend to me. I met her at church volunteering in children’s ministry. We connected immediately and have remained friends for three years.  She is always positive and always smiling.  I remember we both applied for the same job at church. When she realized I applied for the job she immediately told the hiring manager to give the position to me because I was more qualified. She said such amazing things about me during her interview.  She didn’t have to, but she knew my situation and was trying to help me. I have never met someone who would think of someone else in that manner. She is such a selfless person and would give her last if someone needed it. She is truly a blessing in my life and I hope I can be half as giving as she is.

Another positive relationship in my life is my life long friends Subrina.  She is someone I met when I was 4 years old. We have been friends every since and we still talk to this day.  I believe the reason our relationship has lasted so long because she is open and honest. I can tell her anything and it won’t be repeated. We go on vacations together and we never argue over anything. I don’t think we have ever argued in our 30 plus years of knowing each other.  We have such a positive relationship because we respect and value one another.

My daughter’s Rayven and Jasmyne would be a relationship I consider to be positive. Even though I am their mother, they respect what I say. I have learned the older they get the more I have to create a different type of relationship with them.  They have taught me to be more understanding and trusting of people. As a mother I want what is best for there well-being.  They have taught me to be more open to their feelings.  They are such amazing kids and I am blessed to have them as my daughters!!

There are a few challenges to maintain such relationships I listed above. My kids for example, we talk about everything. I have to respond to some questions as a mother and they don’t like what I have to say. I have to remind them that I am their mother and not their friend.  With my life-long friend Subrina we will go a few months without talking and that is hard. I had my kids early and she just started having kids. Our vacations together are basically non-existences now. We have to find time to talk during diaper changing, naps and play dates. 

Some special characteristics of these relationships are what bonded us together. Lee-Ann is completely opposite from me.  She like cats, animals, rock music and video games. I am completely the opposite and that is why we have a special relationship. Even though we are different we still have a lot in common. She talks to me about things I would never discuss and visa versa.  My children and I have a special partnership. I can truly say they are one of a kind, now my boys on the other hand…That’s a different story. But I think my girls and I really respect one another. 

My personal experiences are a huge part of how I react today. I have learned to listen, understand and accept a person for who they are. Appling what I have learned to my childhood profession would be invaluable.  Throughout the years of my life I have learned to accept people for who they are and add to enhance their life. My personal relationships have taught me not to be bias of someone. If I did not accept people for who they are I would miss out on so many wonderful relationships I have in my life.